It's all about latex

The US Democrats are determined that their next Convention in Colorado will be the greenest ever - including "biodegradable balloons and organic snacks."

However, according to thissy here, staff members of the Democratic National Convention Committee have been "putting balloons into compost heaps and waiting for something to happen. Nothing has."

It was the great DK Burchette whose seminal study first informed us that all regular balloons "are essentially the coagulated and dried sap from the Hevea tree with the addition of a tiny amount of non-toxic coloring. These balloons degrade in exactly the same natural manner as the Hevea tree when it falls in the forest."

But wait - some people are pointing out that the 1989 study may have been funded by shadowy industry bodies such as the evil National Association of Balloon Artists! Are the Democrats about to uncover the truth that leads to a change in our perceptions we can scarcely believe in? More news as it comes to hand at the ShadowLands...

UDPDATE: Wondering why the Democrats are so worried about balloons? Answer here.