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Our mission

Are you that special person who - weary from trudging the endless superhighways - just longs to camp next to a glorious oasis of the mind? Do you desire to explore new frontiers, splash in shared ideas, fill your belly with the refreshing fruits of inspiration, and bask in the gentle rays of fond reflection?

Well, you can fuck right off. This, my friends, is not that place. This place is... The ShadowLands.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Bad things

* Google is a disgrace.

* Peak oil is a crock.

* Science reporting is no good.

* Lefties are violent.

* The French are useless.

* The world is coming to an end (thanks minicapt).

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Seaweed found in sea

Western Australian Greens Senator Rachel Siewert recently hired herself a carbon-spewing aeroplane to go find out for herself the terrible truth about the West Atlas oil spill out in the Timor Sea.

Senator Siewert was shocked to discover that the oil spill - said by untrustworthy government types to be 100 kilometres out to sea, and now about 12 kilometres in length - was actually only 20 kilometres from the coast, and rapidly heading towards the baby quokkas on the pristine WA coastline. The media was duly notified and sent photographs.

Anyways, the latest report from people who know about such things is that she was actually looking at seaweed, not an oil-spill. The response from the Greens?:
The Federal Government should stop trying to downplay the potential impact of the oil spill off the Kimberley coast and start taking action, the Australian Greens said today.

Human rights denied

Compelling evidence that Kim Beazley should be appointed to the United Nations.

Passing shadows

* Harry Hutton's tribute to Ted Kennedy.

* A suicide training camp blown up? Sounds like a win-win.

* A bovine suicide camp proves too successful.

* A white South African granted refugee status in Canada.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

How blame works these days

Three people on the outskirts of Melbourne have been attacked by kangaroos recently. The blame for the attacks has been apportioned to:

a) the kangaroos that attack people, or

b) the people who are attacked by kangaroos.

Answer here.

(The expansionist town of Sunbury, by the way, was first settled in 1836.)

Friday, August 28, 2009

A musical interlude

Measuring success

"I have a rule. The guy who goes to prison normally does not come out on top. Unless that is his roommate’s personal preference."
More at Aussie Dave's...

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Then and now

Richard Flanagan, 2007 (on John Howard's intervention in dysfunctional Aboriginal communities):
"For 10 years the trauma at the heart of Australia had not only been denied, but exacerbated. Now there was a damburst, a national outpouring of despair and anger. With every day since he announced his plan, the clamour has grown only louder. And Howard - journeying like Quixote into the heart of a nation's great historical wound that he had denied for 10 long years, seeing only a windmill of an election - seemed neither to comprehend nor care, as the ride grew rougher and stranger with every passing day."
Richard Flanagan, August 27, 2009 (asked about his attitude to the intervention on ABC's Q and A):
"I haven't been to these communities, so I don't know."

Question They Won't Ask

Each week, the ShadowLands sends a question of dubious taste to ABC television's interactive Q and A program, with a view to having it banned. This week:
For Richard Flanagan:

You once dedicated a book to Jew-hater and convicted terrorism assister, David Hicks. I couldn't help noticing that your subsequent works have not been dedicated to the likes of Ali Al Magrahi or Mohamed Atta. Is this because you are now some kind of imperialist dog?
UPDATE: Huzzah! Not published.

Freudian slip of the day

A journalist on Sydney television's Channel Nine News tonight, speaking about the story he broke on the likely sacking of the New South Wales Premier:
"My sources are impeachable."

Passing shadows

* Only the loggers can save us now.

* Eight people who found a fortune.

* Hooray for Socialites Without Borders.

* John Howard, right on.

* Kae points us to a moving account of a visit to Auschwitz.

* A succinct appraisal of Ted Kennedy from Miss Red.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Rearranging NSW

The state of New South Wales is reportedly likely to get a new Premier on Monday. All the details here.

Signs to require alteration

In a move that may make alterations necessary to signs on the outskirts of two towns, the Western Australian town of Broome has decided to end its sister city relationship with Taiji to protest the Japanese town's annual dolphin kill.

It is feared that the drop in revenue to Taiji from junketeering Broome town councillors could lead to a greater dependence on the lucrative dolphin trade, though at the moment, Taiji's economy is bearing up thanks to visits from protesters.

(BTW - Do you prefer beak or blowhole? Get your recipes here...)

UPDATE: Confirmation dolphins are not so bright.

What a joke

Australia has lost the Ashes, so it's time for us to take our medicine - some very poor jokes.

In the meantime, we can prepare for the next series with this cricket game - (our best effort so far is 37).

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Then and now

Kevin Rudd, April 2009:
"Prime ministers make mistakes, I'm sure I've made mistakes, that'd be one of them. If people have been offended, I apologise for it."

Kevin Rudd, August 2009:
"The only attitude we can have is zero tolerance and, as a nation, we need to embrace that."

Drop the red pills

For some reason, studies are showing that the great cure for every disease, the placebo, is becoming more effective.

Most interesting, is the revelation that some types of placebos are more effective than others - for example, your yellow sugar pill will help you overcome depression better than other coloured placebos, and white pills are the choice for helping with your stomach problem.

On the subject of placebos, some experts are saying that the use of a chemical dispersant is having a similar miraculous effect on an oil spill way out in the Timor Sea.

A couple of things

* Money for nothing - nice work if you can get it.

* How to cheat at two up.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Well I'll be...of the day

Aussie Dave reports that legendary Australian rocker, Jimmy Barnes has come out as being technically Jewish.

The ShadowLands was always way too sophisticated to be a huge fan of Barnesies music, but has a soft spot for a few of the old classics like Breakfast at Sweethearts.

Passing shadows

* Some true words spoken on the modern sense of entitlement.

* Ten things you don't need.

* At last, bacon cocktails.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Postcard from Kim

The Korean Friendship Association is spruiking a new line of capitalism-crushing merchandise.

Some of the hottest items include autographed postcards from Kim Jong Il himself - a steal at 30 Euros.

Internet thing might not be true

This story doing the rounds at the moment about the amount of time it takes to work to buy a Big Mac doesn't add up.

Big Macs in Australia cost about $A4 and the minimum wage in Australia is $14 per hour. However, the Economist claims to have worked this out from an "average net wage across 14 professions".

The average wage in Australia is about $60,000 per annum, and is higher still in Sydney. Taking out tax (say, $12,000), this works out at about $24 per hour. Even accounting for tax, the Economist's figures seem unlikely...

Just saying is all.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Best wishes extended

With Ramadan upon us, President Obama has reached out to Muslims and...oh dear.

Get your groove on

Passing shadows

* Your one-stop internet compendium of truck spills.

* Things that are true for young university students.

* The West Virginia hot dog coleslaw map.

* The television programme guide for aliens.

* How many band logos do you recognise? We managed six...

Friday, August 21, 2009

Just a question

Why is the product of a casual root known as a love child?

Hot times with fast women

South African athlete Caster Semenya, interviewed here, has absolutely smashed her opposition in the 800 metres at the World Athletics championships.

Land clearers blamed

The belief that Aborigines lived in harmony with the environment is taking a bit of a battering these days. First came the theory that indigenous people were responsible for the extinction of megafauna.

Now a new study suggests that Aborigines - whose predilection for using fire is well known - may be partly responsible for ancient climate change.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Question They Won't Ask

Each week the ShadowLands submits a question to ABC television's interactive Q and A program with the aim of having it rejected on the grounds of poor taste. This week:
Question for Maxine:

For some time, I have been providing "favours" to a hideous union official with a view to becoming fully accredited to gain pre-selection for a safe Labor seat.

However, the official claims I will be ineligible unless I kiss him during the act. Is this part of the relevant Labor by-laws, or do you think he is just making this up?

UPDATE: Huzzah! Not published.

Journey to prove...not much

Predictably, three boats travelling the North West passage to raise awareness about global warming are currently hemmed in by ice.

On this rare occasion, our heroes are not quite so naive as some that have preceded them. These guys have a fighting chance of making the journey for the simple reason that it has been done before, many times.

That online journal of record, wikipedia records that the journey has been completed successfully in 1906, 1940, 1944, 1957, 1969, 1977, 1984, 1986 (twice). There have been a plethora of journeys in recent years, largely thanks to the marvels of satellite navigation aids.

It has been navigated by cruisers, ice-breakers, catamarans, sailing ships and lifeboats. However, like those that came before them, our current heroes are discovering that while you can navigate the North West Passage, it is just not very practical - even with the advantages of satellite imagery.

There are two blogs on the subject, and The ShadowLands will keep tabs on them in our sidebar.

Missed by that much

In 2008, some scientists declared it a 50/50 bet that the Arctic would be ice free that Summer. Turned out they were wrong by about 5 million square kilometres.

Once again in 2009, predictions of an ice free Summer at the north Pole appear to have been exaggerated, with even the alarmists conceding it is unlikely to reach a record low. In fact, if the current trend line continues, it would appear likely there may be more ice (at least, in area) covering the Arctic than in 2008.

In other words - if the amount of ice likely to be at the North Pole at the highest point of Summer was a country, it would rank seventh in the world, somewhere between the size of India and Australia. It would in fact be enough to cover all of Western Australia, the Northern Territory and South Australia combined...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I had no idea...

people from Melbourne are such twats - until I read this.

Internet arrives

Finally, what we have all been waiting for, the squirrelizer.

Internet arrives

Finally, what we have all been waiting for, the squirrelizer.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Pyongyang Pizza

Happy gormands from the Korean Friendship Association delighting in Pyongyang Pizza.

The Korean Friendship Association shares with us the moving story of how pizza came to Pyongyang. North Korean sources assure us that DPRK cooks are now just as good as Italians.

Meanwhile, the Asian Times shares with us a little more background about this gastronomic revolution.

Other stuff

* It is getting so hard these days to destabilise foreign nations undetected - the denizens of Pravda forum were onto this even before the last flames were extinguished.

* As Billy Joel said, only the Kim Dae-Jung.

* You nutritionist bastards will get my devon sandwich when you prise it from my cold dead hands.

* Colonel Qaddafi - a life in fashion. (Click through the slideshow.)

* Another sad day for engineering.

Passing shadows

* What not to wear for a mugshot and privacy fail.

* The should-you-get-divorced flowchart.

* Attack of the ducks.

New disaster may be worse than Chernobyl

A very detailed study of the Chernobyl nuclear accident by the United Nations body UNSCEAR found that only 57 deaths were directly attributable to the 1986 disaster, while the jury was still out on the long term effects. Ever since this time, nuclear power plants continue to have a phenomenal safety record compared to other forms of power generation.

In the meantime, eight people are confirmed dead and 54 missing in a Russian hydro-electric accident which, if the worst eventuates, has the potential to have a higher mortality than Chernobyl.

Meanwhile, deaths related to wind farms continue to climb steadily while kids in China are paying the price for solar power. This is not to mention the not-compiled but by no means insignificant death toll arising from people falling from their roof while attending to solar panels.

More on the subject here.

Media fall for it hook, line and sinker

From ABC News:
Darwin City Council has decided to close a lake in the Top End capital because of the danger posed by a large fish which recently bit a woman on the foot...

The lake will be closed on Wednesday and Thursday this week so that council officers can remove the large fish.

Monday, August 17, 2009

What if...

There is one question all of us must have asked ourselves in one of our quieter moments. What if the Australian cricket team turned into brain-eating zombies?

Now, at last, we have an answer.

(Never fear, fellow Aussies, perform poorly and you get to see an Englander have their brain eaten.)

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Russia, for one, welcomes global warming

Russia was only coaxed into signing the Kyoto Protocol in exchange for being allowed to join the World Trade Organisation. As it turns out, they are expected to have no trouble meeting their 0 per cent target largely because their economy has collapsed.

The Russians are now putting their hopes in climate change to open up shipping lanes and turn their perma-frosted land into something productive:

All across Russia, the prospect of global warming appears to present new opportunities: exploration of oil and gas fields in Siberia and construction of pipelines linking those fields with Europe and China would be cheaper; agriculture would pick up from Karelia, north of St Petersburg, to Chukotka, in the far east; more tourists would come; more timber would be harvested; deaths from exposure to cold would fall; and the quality of life of vast swathes of the country – 60 per cent of Russia is covered in permafrost – would (quite possibly) rise.
All of which makes perfect sense. However, this raises the question - if it makes perfect sense to the Russians, why doesn't this logic make sense to others in similar latitudes, like the Canadians and northern Europeans?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Chk chk smash (tinkle)

This Pakistani dude is now world famous...

Sick Chinese kids doing bit for our environment

More than 600 children in two Chinese villages are being treated for lead poisoning.

So what is behind the demand for lead in China? Here's an answer:
"Lead is going to be an important metal to help us combat things such as global warming," said U.S. Silver's Hartmann, noting that energy from solar panels is stored in lead-acid batteries.

"It's a little bit ironic," he added, "that the green movement is such a large user of lead."
Cadmium, a by-product of lead mining, is also a major component of solar panels.

Earlier this year, Australia announced a major of investment of taxpayer funds in solar panels, most of which are expected to come from China. China is (naturally) the world's largest producer of solar cells.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Passing shadows that rock

* Aussie Dave's response to Perth retard, Brendon O'Connell rocks.

* Anthropogenic Continental Drift - this rocks too.

* Some guy noticed that Ohio has as many counties as there are piano keys, so he made an online Ohio musical map that rocks.

* Who funds the Taliban? This doesn't rock.

Sex Ed Friday

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Return of Question They Won't Ask

The ShadowLands has not been watching ABC's interactive Q and A lately because we couldn't be arsed. That's why so far we have not been submitting our Question They Won't Ask - a question we send in with the aim that they will refuse to ask it or publish it on their website.

This will be our first question for this series:
Indira Naidoo works for a communications consultancy that makes money from climate alarmism.

Tony Jones is about to enjoy another nice big pay day at Carbon Expo on the Gold Coast.

Can anyone explain why well qualified scientists with secondary funding links to carbon intensive industries never get invited on Q and A, but non-qualified people who are lining their pockets from the alarmist industry are allowed on?

UPDATE: Dammit, published. Next week we will have to up the ante.

Misogynists' corner

* Advertising from the good old days.

* Wanting to dump your girlfriend, but not sure how? Sounds like you need to give her the Ugly Bag.

* Don't want a girlfriend? Sounds like you need one of these.

Reappraisal required

An inquest has turned the spotlight on to a self-help course that may have triggered a psychotic episode in a Sydney woman who leapt to her death in 2005.

There is nothing amusing about this tragic event, but a scan of a website for a Melbourne program with the same name shows that they may need to re-appraise some of their marketing materials, not least this course.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Things Irf doesn't know: Part CXXIV

Following the latest arrests of alleged terrorists in Melbourne, all-round doofus, Irfan Yusuf has been desperately trying to find the high moral ground. He attempts this by quoting from an Andrew Bolt blog post:
Only someone with bin Ladin's mentality, jaundice and ignorance could pen words like this:

"The rise of yet another Islamist terror group suggests there is something in Muslim or Arabic culture peculiarly susceptible to the call to violence ... While false, there is yet a grain of truth in the maxim that while not every Muslim is a terrorist, every terrorist is a Muslim."

I always thought Arabic was the name of a language, not a culture. And what on earth is "Muslim" culture? Do Muslims all share a single culture that is distinct from every other culture? What are the features of this culture? Where do I find it? On which planet? In which galaxy?
Not sure what Arabic culture is Irf? Wikipedia to the rescue:
Arab culture is an inclusive term that draws together the common themes and overtones found in the Arabic-speaking cultures, especially those of the Middle-Eastern countries. This region's distinct religion, art, and food are some of the fundamental features that define Arab culture.
And what is Muslim culture? This seems a bit disingenuous, since only a few years ago you were banging on about Judaeo-Christian culture. But anyways, Wiki answers to the rescue:
A muslim culture is a culture based on the teachings of Islam.
In fact, there are any number of websites that can help Irf answer his questions.

Now Irfan has had an opinion piece published in the Canberra Times where he once again goes to town on Bolt's quote about Arabic/Muslim culture:
I'm not suggesting Bolt shouldn't be allowed to question the involvement of any belief, religion or ideology in terrorism or violence. But to suggest that certain groups are more culturally susceptible to violence is just plain stupid.
Or is there perhaps - (leaving aside for one moment 9/11, the Bali bombings, blasts in Morocco in 2003, a suicide attack in Riyadh, the 2004 Madrid train explosions, Beslan's child hostage slaughter, an attack on Nigerian Christians, attacks on Indian Hindus in 2005 , the suicide bombings in London, the suicide attack on a Karachi wedding, the bombing of Mumbai trains, an attack on a Chad village in 2007, an attempted attack on Glasgow airport, and the Mumbai attacks) - evidence that some followers of Islam think there is something in the teachings of the Koran that justifies violence? Yes there is, as discussed in this Muslim forum:
You see, your entire perspective is an emotional/pseudo-logical one. If the Creator reveals to humanity that dying for His sake gives you paradise you accept it. There is no sane person who denies what the Creator reveals...

Islamic reasoning is undeniable, as you would have to either disprove the Creator or the Qur'an, to defeat the concept that dying for the sake of the Creator in battle does not grant you paradise.

But how is Yusuf expected to know about discussions like these on Muslim forums like this? The thing is, he does know... all too well. He just chooses not to talk about them.

Dumb babies

A new study has found that babies are shamefully stupid.

PJ the quote machine

When PJ O'Rourke appeared on ABC television's panel program Q and A last year you could sense that every time he spoke, people from all sides of the political spectrum were leaning forward to hear what he had to say. The man is a quote machine.

From this interview:
I live in New Hampshire. We’re in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level rises? I’ve got beachfront property. You tell us up there, “By the end of the century, New York City could be underwater,” and we say, “Your point is?”

On Government ownership of General Motors:
I think it’s a really, really bad idea. It’s one of these situations where Dad burns dinner, so you say, “Oh, I know. Let’s have the dog cook!”

On Prius drivers:
They’re bad drivers because they’re idiots. And we know they’re idiots because they bought a Prius.

On climate alarmists:
Most of the people who have grabbed hold of climate change and greenhouse gases, pollution, oil dependency—they have another motive, and their motive is to attain the appearance of virtue without having actually done anything virtuous. Or if they’re in politics, the whole point of politics is to achieve prestige and power without merit. These are just nice opinions to have. They’re utterly meaningless. It’s just a way for people to be pious jerks...Their motives are not necessarily good just because they say they are being good. It’s peace, love, and understanding. To which I can just say, “Shut up.”
On philosophy:
I’ve decided that my motto in life is “Get off my lawn.” It’s the right answer to everything.

(link via BOAB who got it from Jules.)

Rise of the Swedish pirates

Media are reporting that there may have been a pirate attack on a cargo ship off Sweden.

UPDATE: Swedish police have released a photograph of the suspects.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Competition for NRL Good Guy heats up

Congratulations to rugby league player and all round role model, Greg Inglis named NRL Good Guy of the Month for July. Mr Inglis has since been charged with assaulting his girlfriend.

Ironically, last year Mr Inglis was nominated along with fellow indigenous rugby league playing role model, Greg Bird for a Deadly Award. Mr Bird has since been convicted of glassing his girlfriend.

Mr Inglis is well respected for his outstanding rugby league skills. He also featured prominently in promotions for the game this year after advertisements featuring non-indigenous role model Brett Stewart had to be taken off air when he was charged with sexual assault.

Judges for August's NRL Good Guy of the Month say on this occasion they will be on the lookout for a player who is not charged with assault - which narrows the field down to someone like Nate Myles.

Wong the denier

From Australia's Climate Change Minister, Penny Wong's speech to the National Press Club last week.
And looking beyond our shores, by mid century, rising sea levels will directly affect and potentially displace over a million people in Bangladesh, the Mekong delta in Vietnam and a little further afield in the Nile delta, to say nothing of the impact on our neighbours in the Pacific.

Despite these clear facts, delivering a serious and credible response remains a political challenge.
Sorry Pen, but it appears getting your facts clear is the first challenge. Scientists from the UN University’s Institute for Environment and Human Security say there will be 25- 50 million climate refugees by 2010. They even have a helpful map. Since there have been few, if any, climate refugees so far, it means the world can expect 1.5 to 3 million climate refugees per week, over the next four months.

Try and get with the program, Pen.

Sign our petition to make GetUp! come clean

The secretive Australian political organisation, GetUp! has started one of its tiresome petitions to end political donations. In typical fashion, it claimed to have already received 95 per cent of its target 25,000 signatories before it even landed in our inbox. In this way it is able to claim, "Tens of thousands of people have already signed the petition..."

In response, the ShadowLands is asking readers to sign a petition to make GetUp identify its major donors who contribute (as far as we can tell) more than $1 million each year to the organisation.

You'll find the petition here.

Footnote for those requiring some background:

GetUp! is a lobby group that, judging by its actions, is a front for the left wing of the Australian Labor Party, however its spokespeople constantly insist that they are not affiliated to any party.

A former spokesman of GetUp!, Lachlan Harris now works for the Australian Prime Minister, who has gone so far as to co-opt some their slogans such as "Closing the Gap", used ad nauseum by Kevin Rudd on indigenous affairs.

The ShadowLands receives emails from the organisation to sign petitions for various causes which apparently receive astonishing levels of support before the requests even arrive in our email. We think these petitions are dodgy.

Even more suspect is the source of donations for GetUp! - since signing up is free. Despite having annual reports, the organisation offers no information about the identities of their biggest donors.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Canuck makes the big gaytime

In Australia, the high profile winter sports are rugby league and rugby union in New South Wales and Queensland (making up about half the population), and Aussie Rules (also known as AFL) in the rest of Australia.

Aussie Rules followers tend to be passionate devotees of the game and their mood on Monday morning can easily depend on weekend results. Aussie rules followers usually don't know the difference between rugby union and rugby league and couldn't care less.

Rugby union and league followers refer to the still pretty tough but less collision-oriented AFL as "gayFL". From the headline, you can probably guess which side of the border this blog sits.

The games and cultures of the rugby codes are vastly different to Aussie Rules, as exemplified by the fact that players have virtually never successfully crossed over from rugby to AFL or vice versa. In fact, over a hundred years or so, it is something that until recently, is rarely even contemplated.

The story of the Canadian rugby union player, Mike Pyke, who has made a successful transition is remarkable not just for his personal achievement, but because he may end up being a pioneer of cross-traffic between the codes.

(Thanks to the ShadowLands' correspondent minicapt for the link to Canada's National Post.)

Passing shadows

* Great news for lard-arses.

* Bad news for lard-arses.

* It is a truth universally acknowledged that food tastes better when served on a stick. Just ask the Malawians.

* One of Australia's great cultural sites under threat.

* A cute summation of what we learned from the late director, John Hughes.

Status under threat

REUTERS: Australian sports crowds long-cherished status as among the world's worst behaved has taken a major battering overnight following the continued boorish behaviour of English cricket fans at Headingley.

This is after the status of our cricket fans was eclipsed by racist Indian fans in 2007. Most recently, China came from nowhere to claim number one on the list after crowds pelted Australia's under 19 women's soccer team with bottles.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Passing shadows

* Thanks minicapt for the link to the story of the acid spitting Mongolian death worm. Meanwhile, Mongolia has placed first at an international woodball competition.

* What are you doing living somewhere else? Australia is having an officially sanctioned sex party!

* Ten things scientists don't understand about people.

Romanian exhibition a winner

Romanian readers who live near the town of Calimanesti have only five days to catch this exhibition about North Korea which is dedicated to the memory of the Outstanding Great Leader, Kim Il Sung. Unfortunately, Kim Il Sung's memory was never very good, which may help explain the slapdash quality of the exhibition.

According to sources at the Korean Friendship Association, this event has already received five mentions in Calimanesti media, a town that boasts nearly 9,000 people.

Okay, maybe we're a bit short of news at the moment. Shut up.

Tshewang received

Thousands of people have gathered at Gangtey Goenpa in Wangdue to receive tshewang at the conclusion of a five-day long bazaguru dungdrub.

All the details at the Bhutan Observer.

Friday, August 7, 2009

More passing shadows

* A lyrebird mimics construction noises - this rocks.

* Remembering the joys of share accommodation.

* Seven things animals give to humans.

* Are you a climate scientist? Depends which side you're on.

Because we can

Passing shadows

* This is allegedly the deleted but cached creepy online diary of the guy who murdered women at a gym in Pennsylvania recently. It certainly has that universal marker of communication by dickheads - many, many personal pronouns.

* The one blog to demonstrate that birthers are pussies - Obama Antichrist - finds the smoking gun.

* You thought what?

Thursday, August 6, 2009


Alleged terrorist over-rated

It would not be too outrageous to think that Wissam Fattal, the alleged terrorist who reportedly refused to stand for the judge and then made an outburst when leaving the court, is the same Wissam Fattal who is a former kickboxer.

A quick search reveals that in 2004, Mr Fattal was a popular pick amongst correspondents in this kickboxing forum as "Most over-rated".

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Putin to make acting debut

(Poster made with the generous assistance of this website.)

Floods, drought good after all

The Clarence River, like many of the rivers on the north coast of New South Wales, is a huge mofo of a river that runs a short distance into the sea. Despite rapidly growing populations in this part of the world, save for a few dams on tributaries, not much of the water in them is used by local populations for anything practical.

Meanwhile, our enviro-friends are warning that Australia can expect more frequent floods in areas like these, combined with more severe droughts and other catastrophes in inland Australia.

Only in May, the town of Grafton suffered from a severe flood. It makes perfect sense then - even for greenies - that we could solve two problems by harvesting these problematic flood waters when they arrive? Erm, apparently, no.

What's it all about then?

Commenters at the Lavatory Rodeo are predictably tying themselves in knots explaining the latest alleged terrorist plots. It turns out, of course, that it's all about...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Thread contaminated

One chap posting at this Muslim forum under the name Platypuspieau1 (and it's not us) is cruising for a bruising with his radical ideas:
the Flaming Jihadis of Glenroy will probably turn out to be just like the Flaming Jihadis of West Preston led by Abdul Nasser Benbrika - petty criminals & dole bludgers nursing a sense of deep grievance aganst the nation that gave them & their families refuge when they fled the crapholes they came from. that's gratitude for you. most refugees & immigrants to australia are grateful for the opportunity their adopted country gives them. they work hard, get on, & become happy & productive members of society while retaining their religion & culture. losers turn to extremism because nothing is ever their own fault, & it's easier to destroy than to build
Asked to explain his definition of extremism, he replies, "extremists think destruction is better than construction" at which point Fatima has clearly had enough:
^ I don't understand what people like you do on a muslim forum. Please stop contaminating this thread with your nonsense.
UPDATE Platypuspieau1 continues: "wherever deluded individuals think blasting people to bits will get them into heaven, i'll be arguing against it until i get banned"

and Fatima responds:

You see, your entire perspective is an emotional/pseudo-logical one. If the Creator reveals to humanity that dying for His sake gives you paradise you accept it. There is no sane person who denies what the Creator reveals.

The muslim thinkers are amongst the smartest of humanity simply because they realize they are failures compared to the Creator in every way. So they surrender themselves to Him, and adopt whatever He says. That is the reality of life.

Islamic reasoning is undeniable, as you would have to either disprove the Creator or the Qur'an, to defeat the concept that dying for the sake of the Creator in battle does not grant you paradise.

Keep in mind that in Islam (generally) we do not kill the innocent or civilians.

Generalisations made

Security agencies have swooped on an alleged terrorist cell that was plotting an attack on Australian army bases. As The Australian newspaper reports:
The suspects include Australians of Somali and Lebanese decent, most of whom are labourers employed in Melbourne's construction industry, or taxi drivers.
Now the ShadowLands is loathe to make generalisations about people's occupations - Adrian of cablog fame, for example, hardly ever discusses his wish for violent jihad. But former US Senator Conrad Burns might feel just a little vindication after causing a political storm a couple of years ago when he observed that terrorism involved a faceless enemy who "drive taxicabs in the daytime and kill at night."

By the way, a brilliant obervation from taxi megastar Adrian here:
On Saturday afternoon I headed to the ALP national conference at Darling Harbour hoping for some heavy patronage from the champions of the working class, only to be greeted by a line of limos. Nobs.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Passage blocked

Sophisticated computer models show that Arctic ice may melt quite a bit this summer. Unfortunately, for Canadian fishermen and others in the real world, this may prove difficult to confirm while the North West Passage remains blocked.

Passing shadows

* How could you possibly improve bacon? Cover it in chocolate. How could you possibly improve chocolate-covered bacon? Put it on a stick.

* For the musicians...

* Six things you didn't know about the human body, four that are just stupid, and five that they have wrongly assumed you didn't know, but already read somewhere else.

* A funny joke.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Hicks wedding: exclusive photos

Convicted terrorism supporter David Hicks has married in Sydney. The ShadowLands is most excited to have obtained exclusive photos of wedding guests (above) as well as the glowing bride.

Mr Hicks' preferences for bazookas are well documented, not just in this photograph, but as he wrote to a former flatmate:

Listen, have you got any friends I can f--- when I get home? They have to be good-looking and I prefer big tits as well. Well, send their photos with the letters so I can check them out...
According to reports, his new wife is a poet who is associated with the University of Sydney's Centre for Peace and Conflict Studies. We have been unable to find any examples of her work online, but did stumble upon this worthy example of the craft.

Show us the figures

Frollicking Mole over at Tizonas has an excellent post on big price rises for green energy in Western Australia.

What caught our eye is this quote from a Green MP who is apparently unfamiliar with the concept of supply and demand:
“I would be very interested to see the data which Synergy has that suggests the cost of energy generated by sun or wind has increased,” he said.
Likewise, we would also be most interested to see the real costs of energy production. Thissy here gives an overview of the costs of electricity including this:
"In Australia, the (government) subsidy for renewable energies is...roughly equal to the generating cost from coal or about half the retail price of electricity."
In other words, whether we want to or not, the rest of us are paying for the power that these greentards require for their lava lamps and electric incense burners.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Passing shadows

* It's Obama monopoly.

* The story of the mysterious unexplained high tides (thanks minicapt). Not only are the tides mysterious, they are also notable as being the first unusual natural phenomena ever not to be blamed on global warming - at least, not yet.

* Ten of the manliest names.

* How to annoy your fellow aeroplane passengers:
a) start up your laptop and b) connect to this site.