Passing shadows

* What it's like in the homeopathic emergency room (this rocks).

* Six blood-thirsty national anthems

* Careful how you die in Malaysia or you may end up in the newspaper.

It's uncanny

These are actually just look-a-likes.

Because we can

Why Jackson stood at the top of a mountain

by John Butler of the John Butler Trio

Does the world need another blogger sinking the slipper into the unevenly decomposing corpse of Michael Jackson?

Probably not, but then the world probably never needed another Michael Jackson album after Thriller or, in my opinion, Off the Wall.

To my mind, it was all downhill after the early classics like Don't Stop Til You Get Enough.

Watching that video - lest we forget - it's obvious that Michael Jackson really was a star. No pop star before or since could stand in front of a camera and captivate you in the same way. Dressed in a tuxedo, singing in falsetto, it's amazing how masculine he looks. It's an interesting phenomenon that the more he tried to be macho - telling us how bad he was, dressing like a gangster or zombie, grabbing his crotch to remind us he had one - the less of a genuine threat he seemed to any female of breeding age.

Likewise, as his skin lightened, the music seemed to get whiter and less interesting. Eventually it all collapsed into a saccharine bombastic ball of goo. Jackson produced three or four classic pop songs in his early years, but I would sooner gnaw my arm off at the elbow than listen to a whole "best of" album.

But the thing that pisses me off about Michael Jackson is the same old thing that pisses me off about the vast majority of celebrities.

To become a top pop star or performer must require a certain amount of ego and self obsession that most of us don't have. Unfortunately, this is so often incompatible with the selflessness and normal values you require to be a good parent. But steady on, I hear you say, what do you know about Michael Jackson's parenting skills?

What I know is that good parents don't put themselves in a position to die young. I also know that good parents allow their kids the chance to have a mother. Good parents give you proper names, and they give you a chance to be normal and to be yourself

Maybe he was a kiddie-fiddler - I can't profess to know. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt.

But fundamental to my dislike for Michael Jackson is his plain old hypocrisy - the huge gulf between his professed care for children and his inability to be a good parent.

Then, inevitably, there are the excuses about his upbringing and inability to have a normal childhood. Millions of people have overcome much greater hurdles in their lives. Millions of people of Jackson's age grew up in a generation where they were treated roughly or off-handedly by their parents.

But every day, millions of people from this generation show their love for their children by just getting on with life: by dragging themselves out of bed and going to work each day, by giving their kids reasonable names they can call their own, by not getting zonked out on prescription drugs, by making sure to still be around to attend their wedding. They have problems, they get over them.

This was the kind of commitment that was always way beyond that spaced-out goofball, Michael Jackson - all of which may have been okay had he not set himself up as some great children's advocate.

Michael Jackson's death is the end for a great pop musician. But hopefully it also represents the end of a whole mountain-full of bullshit.

Happy Canada Day

A belated Happy Canada Day to our Canadian readers.

Here are four things a grateful immigrant to this nation might say:

a) Wow, Canada might not be perfect, but it sure beats the Orwellian shithole that I come from. I am very fortunate to be a citizen.

b) Canada is the only nation in the world holding the torch for conservatism at the moment. I sure am proud to be Canadian.

c) I swear if I hear another note of Nickelback...but you know what? This is a wonderful, prosperous nation that opens its arms to the world, and I am fortunate to be part of it.

and then, of course, there is option d)

Your swine flu party needs

Parents have been warned not to take their children to "swine flu parties" in the hope they will catch the disease and build up immunity.

However, in a blow to those of us who kind of like the idea, further reading of this news story appears to show that no-one has ever held a Swine Flu Party and no-one knows of anyone who has either.

For those of you thinking of taking the plunge by celebrating our diverse virology, here are a few pointers that are sure to be a hit at your local swine flu party:

* Wear the bacon tux or - should you prefer to keep it informal - this bacon suit.

* Or try this costume for the kids.

* Hand around some bacon apple pie

* Steal the bacon party game

* Give out this handy decision-making flowchart to party guests

* More bacon delights over thissaway and all your bacon related merchandise.

Michael Jackson news update

Still dead.

Passing shadows

* As previously noted here, lefties love Ahmadinejad. (via Best of the Web)

* Lousy library books

* Michael Jackson in graphs

* Things that look like faces

* Have you suffered from a very, very bad paper cut, but your band-aid looks too gay? You need, leather band-aids.

The road ahead