The road ahead

A trip down memory place

Keep on with the Post Office
Don’t stop ’till you get enough

Show them hot monkey
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it!...
You're a hot monkey, Don't you bite
No one wants to feel your penis
Just beat it,beat it, beat it, beat it
You've got to show them that you're real
Hey Toto, don't you ever come around here...

She ran underneath the table
He could see she was an emo
Annie get your wookiee, are you woking any?
Anything you want, 'kay?
You want, 'kay, any?"

For forty days and for forty nights I was on the slab
I flew in sandwiches from Japan
of steaming lamb curried ants
Village Cheese is not my lover
But the chair is not my size

It took them a little while but...

when it comes to figuring out what causes bad things to happen, the canny netizens of Pravda Forum are nothing if not reliable.

Passing shadows

* A multi-millionaire cartoonist whose work was once enthusiastically accepted in an Iranian holocaust-themed competition says the rest of us should stop complaining and learn to love the recession.

* This is how to win a horse race.

* This is how to carry stuff.

* A car crashes into an optometrists, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

* Kate at SDA absolutely nails it under the heading "One last comment" over here.

* Cool WWIII posters this way.

Spookily inaccurate

We at The ShadowLands are fascinated with the strangely ignored, but remarkably accurate, reverse predictive powers of people who are bad at predicting things. We bring you, for example, leading pet psychic and foreseer of general events, Ms Cherie Vergini.

Jokes condemned

The ShadowLands presents these "jokes" only with the understanding that our discerning readers will know far better than to spread them around:

* So, did you hear the Jackson 5 are offering 20 per cent off their next reunion tour?

* Farrah Fawcett gets to the Pearly Gates. St Peter says, "We have been expecting you Farrah. You have led such a good life that, as well as entrance to heaven, God and I would like to offer you one wish". Farrah scarcely needs to think about it. "Thank you, God, thank you St Peter. I would like you to end the suffering of each and every child..."

* I hear it was the second heart attack that killed Jackson - when he awoke and realised he was nowhere near the children's ward.

(More on the web reaction to this shock news over at Harry Hutton's.)

UPDATE: Some more "jokes" that we should all be extremely wary of in comments. Thanks to our vigilant readers.

Our Jackson musical tribute...

Eulogy 2

Apart from paying out millions to stave off child molestation charges, and then having children not biologically related to him that he could keep in his house, he produced some very entertaining videos. For this we owe him our undying respect.

Eulogy 1

Although divorcing the world's best actor, ever, partnering a meth user, raising a meth addict and being interviewed on television in a disoriented state, her hair flicks were indisputably what made her a role-model for us all.