Please appease me

If there was one person on Earth to ignore when it comes to advice on security, who do you suppose it would be?

Which brings us, inevitably, to these:

What would the French call a nuclear explosion in Paris? Proof that more inspectors are needed.

A French and American general were surveying a battlefield. A bullet strikes the American general, grazing his arm. He shouts "Aide! Bring me my red jacket!" The French general asks "Why did you do that?" The American general responds "So my men don't see that I'm bleeding, and lose hope." A second bullet narrowly misses the French general's ear, and he shouts: "Aide! Bring me my brown trousers!"

What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? A salesman.

How do you say "Give me liberty or give me death!" in French? I give up.

What English word has no equivalent in the French language? Gratitude.

Why do the french get more votes in the U.N? They vote with both hands.