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Are you that special person who - weary from trudging the endless superhighways - just longs to camp next to a glorious oasis of the mind? Do you desire to explore new frontiers, splash in shared ideas, fill your belly with the refreshing fruits of inspiration, and bask in the gentle rays of fond reflection?

Well, you can fuck right off. This, my friends, is not that place. This place is... The ShadowLands.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Media release'omatic

{Embargoed until Monday morning - please remember to fill in blanks}

Rudd target "bad joke": [insert name of organisation here]

Today's announcement by Environment Minister Penny Wong that Australia is aiming for a xxxxx per cent reduction in carbon emissions by 2020 won't be enough to avoid catastrophic climate change according to xxxxx.

"xxxxxx per cent is not nearly enough," xxxxx said. "If it wasn't so serious, it would be a bad joke. We have a responsibility to be leading the rest of the world, and instead, this pitiful target will make us the laughing stock.

"Also, the new carbon tax of $xxxxx per tonne is clearly not enough. What we were looking for from Rudd and Wong was clear leadership and they have let us down," xxxxxx said.

"Australia is set to lose the Great Barrier Reef, the Murray Darling food basin, Kakadu, our alpine snowfields and possibly the Gold Coast themeparks, as struts holding up roller-coasters begin to melt.

"It looks like we are leaving it to our grandchildren to solve this problem and by then it may be too late. It's just not good enough," xxxxx concluded.



blogstrop said...

"Tragic" - Bob Brown
"It's all in the modelling" - Penny Wong
"I told you so" - Malcolm Turnbull
"You #//!!*&@" - Green Protester and that Milne person

Margo's Maid said...

You're right 'strop - Media release'omatic turned out not to be near hysterical enough.