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Are you that special person who - weary from trudging the endless superhighways - just longs to camp next to a glorious oasis of the mind? Do you desire to explore new frontiers, splash in shared ideas, fill your belly with the refreshing fruits of inspiration, and bask in the gentle rays of fond reflection?

Well, you can fuck right off. This, my friends, is not that place. This place is... The ShadowLands.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

2009 with Professor Tim

Celebrity palaeontologist, warmenist and former Australian of the Year, Professor Tim Flannery has very kindly provided us with this article about his predictions for 2009. Take it away Professor Tim:


Those in the isles long besieged
Will take vigor and force against their enemies:
Those outside dead overcome by hunger,
They will be put in greater hunger than ever before.

The good old man buried quite alive,
Near the great river through false suspicion:
The new old man ennobled by riches,
Captured on the road all his gold for ransom.

When the cripple will attain to the realm,
For his competitor he will have a near bastard:
He and the realm will become so very mangy
That before he recovers, it will be too late.

They will be on terms of such disagreement
As to delight in the wretches of Nola
Complaining of having mocked its chief.
From distant swords lands wet with blood:
Very great plague will come with the great shell,
Relief near, and the remedies very far.

2009 shall be a year of many conferences
My flights many to Copenhagen, Perth
and Hawaii with my eager research assistants
Our last chances to save the World
Until next year.

6 comments:

Egg said...

Very evangelical pic.
Captions?
'Her warm globes were this big!'

Col. Milquetoast said...

"Once I attach the air compressor, my head will get this big, the appropriate size, I think."

kae said...

He's lifted that from Nostradamus.

Plagiarist!

Anonymous said...

Good article in The Australian by Jon Jenkins:
THe Warmaholic's Fantasy

Margo's Maid said...

Well spotted kae - I'll have a word to Professor Tim about this.

Margo's Maid said...

Good link, thanks 'strop. The Oz is one of the few outlets giving an alternate view at the moment.