How Australia does racism these days: Exclusive

The former boss of Australia’s largest telecommunications company, Sol Trujillo, has returned to the United States after having earnt - at the bare minimum - a $30 million-plus salary. According to reports, Mr Trujillo has since described Australia as backward and racist.

While down at the local rubbish dump throwing out our old Telstra scrip, The ShadowLands was astonished to discover the following bit of paper from an old meeting of Australia’s chapter of the KKK. We bring this excerpt to you with the knowledge that it may shed some light on the new ugly face of racism in Australia:

KKK Australia, Minutes of June 2005, Gazza’s place.

Gazza: Welcome to the mid-year meeting of KKK Australia ladies and gents.

Shazza, Bazza, Dazza: No worries, Gazza.

Gazza: A little later we will be discussing, as promised, where to buy discount hair clippers, maintaining flannelette, and tips for growing rats tails. But first of all I have some news.

I hear-tell that a Mexican is going to visit Australia.

Shazza, Bazza, Dazza: A what?

Gazza: That’s right, some burrito bender by the name of Sol Trujillo.

Bazza: Good God no. We can’t allow this. What are we gonna do?

Shazza: Well, we could do some racist graffiti at Sydney Airport or maybe call him some names?

Gazza: Look, it's good, it's all good. It just sounds a bit old school to me.

Bazza: How about we pick him up in a taxi, and take him to some park for some roughing up? Or maybe just put a burning cross on his lawn?

Gazza: Hmmm, interesting suggestions all of them. But I was thinking something more along the lines of making him CEO of Telstra…