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Are you that special person who - weary from trudging the endless superhighways - just longs to camp next to a glorious oasis of the mind? Do you desire to explore new frontiers, splash in shared ideas, fill your belly with the refreshing fruits of inspiration, and bask in the gentle rays of fond reflection?

Well, you can fuck right off. This, my friends, is not that place. This place is... The ShadowLands.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

How Australia does racism these days: Exclusive

The former boss of Australia’s largest telecommunications company, Sol Trujillo, has returned to the United States after having earnt - at the bare minimum - a $30 million-plus salary. According to reports, Mr Trujillo has since described Australia as backward and racist.

While down at the local rubbish dump throwing out our old Telstra scrip, The ShadowLands was astonished to discover the following bit of paper from an old meeting of Australia’s chapter of the KKK. We bring this excerpt to you with the knowledge that it may shed some light on the new ugly face of racism in Australia:

KKK Australia, Minutes of June 2005, Gazza’s place.

Gazza: Welcome to the mid-year meeting of KKK Australia ladies and gents.

Shazza, Bazza, Dazza: No worries, Gazza.

Gazza: A little later we will be discussing, as promised, where to buy discount hair clippers, maintaining flannelette, and tips for growing rats tails. But first of all I have some news.

I hear-tell that a Mexican is going to visit Australia.

Shazza, Bazza, Dazza: A what?

Gazza: That’s right, some burrito bender by the name of Sol Trujillo.

Bazza: Good God no. We can’t allow this. What are we gonna do?

Shazza: Well, we could do some racist graffiti at Sydney Airport or maybe call him some names?

Gazza: Look, it's good, it's all good. It just sounds a bit old school to me.

Bazza: How about we pick him up in a taxi, and take him to some park for some roughing up? Or maybe just put a burning cross on his lawn?

Gazza: Hmmm, interesting suggestions all of them. But I was thinking something more along the lines of making him CEO of Telstra


Anonymous said...

blogstrop said...

The BBC "reporter" (gratuitous scare quotes there!) shamelessly primed him with the questions about racism. As I have said many times, racism as a slur is not just past its use-by date, it has been flayed to the point of uselessness.
Australians are not racist, but are ratbagist - and properly so.

Anonymous said...

Gazza, making him the CEO of Telstra is harsh indeed but why not go all the way and force him to phone Teltra technical difficulties and faults....then he will be begging for EIT.