AFL trips, fumbles, out of bounds

Former (ughh!) out-of-stater and So-Called Tim Blair is currently Cheerleader in Chief for the establishment of an Australian Football League team in western Sydney.

In the absence of other footage, international readers will get the general spirit of this sport here and a general primer on western Sydney here and its currently favoured sport here.

Some years ago, I had a conversation with a person who was about to invest a lot of money in an ostrich farm. The conversation reached an abrupt silence when I asked them whether they currently buy any ostrich products. So, Timbonator, are you planning to travel to Blacktown and pay to watch the Leprechauns any time soon?

Here are a few other reasons this team is destined to fail:

* Much of Tim's argument is that AFL is a much better game to play. He may be right, but every school boy in Sydney refers to the game as "gay fl". This explains why despite a multi-million dollar advertising campaign, "the eight listed junior AFL clubs in Sydney's west need to amalgamate age groups to field teams". What's more important, player participation will not really help this new club.

* The idea to recruit Irish players and have a celtic theme is bizarre. Irish backpackers will not travel to western Sydney to see them play - at least, not more than once. In contrast, the Melbourne Storm rugby league team has found a decent base from its fans with a Pacific Islander background. The introduction of a celtic AFL team in western Sydney will go down like the introduction of an Icelandic ballet company in Collingwood.

* Sydney people don't watch AFL on television, with previous live broadcasts of the home side soundly beaten by Antiques Roadshow. What makes you think they will pay to go and watch fumbleball in the cold out in Sydney's west?

The introduction of the Leprechauns to western Sydney is set to be an epic car crash in slow motion, and if you listen carefully, you can hear the chaps at NRL headquarters making the popcorn.