Are you that special person who - weary from trudging the endless superhighways - just longs to camp next to a glorious oasis of the mind? Do you desire to explore new frontiers, splash in shared ideas, fill your belly with the refreshing fruits of inspiration, and bask in the gentle rays of fond reflection?
Well, you can fuck right off. This, my friends, is not that place. This place is... The ShadowLands.
For years Australian taxpayers have been handing out millions of dollars to our film-makers in the hope that they would be so grateful as to make a decent movie or two.
Instead, our canny film-makers figured that while they were growing fat on the taxpayers' teat, they simply didn't need to make a movie that anyone wanted to watch, and they have obliged us many times over.
Film-goers have been wondering who might come along to rescue Australian movies this year and I'll be blowed if it's not, of all people...Paul Hogan. The other is Shane Jacobson, a chap who also made his name in the radical field of making films people want to see.
It might take some work to stretch this out into a feature film. However, if we must spend public funds on films, then Leo is clearly the most deserving of all the wankers in the Australian film industry.