Are you that special person who - weary from trudging the endless superhighways - just longs to camp next to a glorious oasis of the mind? Do you desire to explore new frontiers, splash in shared ideas, fill your belly with the refreshing fruits of inspiration, and bask in the gentle rays of fond reflection?
Well, you can fuck right off. This, my friends, is not that place. This place is... The ShadowLands.
REUTERS: Renowned for his accurate predictions about Australia's economy as well as his contributions to the ShadowLands website, John Butler of the John Butler Trio says Australia's recovery from the global recession is likely to be easy.
Mr Butler, who was Australia's only economist to predict that Australia would avoid technical recession, says that he has been quietly weighing up the indicators for the future, but is only now confident enough to make a prediction.
"I made my reputation as an economic futurist because of my ground-breaking Reverse Retard Index or RRI™. Put simply, I find out what retards are saying and predict the opposite, which is easily the most foolproof guide to economic trends available.
"The trouble over the past few months is that the opinions of retards have been difficult to pin down - until now."
The breakthrough has come thanks to Kevin Rudd's warning that many Australians are likely to suffer as the economy recovers. Butler explains:
"To start with, we know that Kevin Rudd fits our criteria as a Prime Economic Retard™ thanks to his earlier statements about Australia being likely to be badly effected by a slowdown in China - when in fact, China was experiencing continued growth. Naturally, it turned out that Australia was saved from technical recession by China.
"Next, we know that Rudd's essay is a classic in the genre of Retard Economic Analysis thanks to the first sentence, which asserts that the current global recession is the worst since the Great Depression.
"This is simply not true - at least not definitively, not yet - and there are some genuine indications that it will prove not to be. Thus, all we need do is to read his essay, and confidently assert the opposite."