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Are you that special person who - weary from trudging the endless superhighways - just longs to camp next to a glorious oasis of the mind? Do you desire to explore new frontiers, splash in shared ideas, fill your belly with the refreshing fruits of inspiration, and bask in the gentle rays of fond reflection?

Well, you can fuck right off. This, my friends, is not that place. This place is... The ShadowLands.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Celebrating our diversity, by celebrity columnist, Cate Blanchett

Margo's Maid is extremely proud to introduce leading celebrity, Ms Cate Blanchett to the ShadowLands. Ms Blanchett was selected from a stellar field of celebrities, including Martin Grelis from the Easy Off Bam commercials, to become The ShadowLands' new celebrity Environmental reporter. Take it away, Cate!!!

By Cate Blanchett (leading celebrity)

What are you doing at work? Today is World Biodiversity Day, a UN sanctioned international holiday. Think I’m kidding? Think again! As the leading celebrity, Cate Blanchett, I have come to know more than most about having days off and telling others what to do, which is why I am so into World Biodiversity Day.

Since today is a holiday, that means you have the time to do something about harmful monodiversity happening in your environment. Here are a few modest suggestions for World Biodiversity Day.

1. During the year, collect as many different types of ant that you can find and keep them in an ant farm. On World Biodiversity Day, release them into a harmful monodiverse ants nest. Great fun and good for the environment.

2. As part of your next film contract, demand that the film studio purchase large numbers of caged chickens – various breeds - to be released amongst harmful mono-diverse flocks of flamingoes.

3. Next time you see an ice-breaker preparing for a voyage to Antarctica, introduce some kittens to the lower decks, for "accidental" release into penguin colonies. Now how’s that for thinking global and acting local!

4. Buy or capture equal numbers of budgerigars and flying foxes, to be released into each others’ environments.

5. Purchase old and unwanted zoo animals for release into herds of bison.

There are so many things you can do. Happy World Biodiversity Day!

2 comments:

Paco said...

What am I doing for Bio-Diversity Day? I just recycled two pieces of extremely delicious chocolate cake.

Col. Milquetoast said...

Congrats margos for enlisting a leading celebrity Ms Cate Blanchett. I'm still not sure who Ms Blanchett is but judging by the accompanied photo she must be the handler and trainer of undead voodoo zombies.

An idea for next year :
Dear leading celebrity Ms Cate Blanchett,
in my travels I've noticed that few places are as lacking in biological diversity as municipalities' public transportation. I think the introduction to public buses of green plants, some rabbits, some birds and a small predator like a ocelot or an undersized cougar would vastly increase both biodiversity and rider's understanding of nature.

p.s. Cat is spelled without an "e"
p.p.s. a bus is like a limo except larger, less comfortable, and with more varieties of smells.