by leading celebrity, Germaine Greer
Firstly, I would like to pay homage to the Micronesian and Polynesian peoples, who have graciously allowed us to lay the Internet cable across their sea-lands to make the “Internet” possible.
As the leading celebrity, Germaine Greer, many people ask me about the major issues facing women around the world. There is nothing quite so dis-empowering for women than to have poor television reception. This is especially so for Channel 4, which can go all fuzzy, just when you're enjoying seeing the downy hairs on the shoulders of the young boys on Big Brother as the hidden cameras pan slowly across them.
Giving us poor television reception seems to me to be the one major area of oppression that needs to be addressed and is clearly an attempt by the patriarchy to make me forget about those long days when the young boys' semen would flow like tap water. More about this in my upcoming tome, Women Not Receiving.
Another major problem oppressing women these days are the ridiculously expensive face creams that promise the world and don't make a jot of difference. And children on scooters? Don't get me started – those young boys need a good spanking... to be continued