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Our mission

Are you that special person who - weary from trudging the endless superhighways - just longs to camp next to a glorious oasis of the mind? Do you desire to explore new frontiers, splash in shared ideas, fill your belly with the refreshing fruits of inspiration, and bask in the gentle rays of fond reflection?

Well, you can fuck right off. This, my friends, is not that place. This place is... The ShadowLands.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Major challenges facing women today – by leading woman celebrity, Germaine Greer!!!

When it comes to tackling the major issues facing women today, The ShadowLands is as concerned as the next guy. As such, we are delighted to introduce Germaine Greer as the new ShadowLands reporter on women's issues!
by leading celebrity, Germaine Greer

Firstly, I would like to pay homage to the Micronesian and Polynesian peoples, who have graciously allowed us to lay the Internet cable across their sea-lands to make the “Internet” possible.

As the leading celebrity, Germaine Greer, many people ask me about the major issues facing women around the world. There is nothing quite so dis-empowering for women than to have poor television reception. This is especially so for Channel 4, which can go all fuzzy, just when you're enjoying seeing the downy hairs on the shoulders of the young boys on Big Brother as the hidden cameras pan slowly across them.

Giving us poor television reception seems to me to be the one major area of oppression that needs to be addressed and is clearly an attempt by the patriarchy to make me forget about those long days when the young boys' semen would flow like tap water. More about this in my upcoming tome, Women Not Receiving.

Another major problem oppressing women these days are the ridiculously expensive face creams that promise the world and don't make a jot of difference. And children on scooters? Don't get me started – those young boys need a good spanking... to be continued


stackja1945 said...

Spanky and our gang. Ah, the joys of youth.

Col. Milquetoast said...

Is that John Kerry in a bikini?