NZ delivers crushing blow to global warming

REUTERS: Global warming, which is currently not happening, is expected to receive a further blow thanks to World Environment Day celebrations being hosted in Wellington, New Zealand.

A highlight of the activities will be a fun run which is expected to attract 1200 people who will run or walk a 4km circuit, stopping half way to plant a tree. No, really. In what will be a further blow to global warming, experts estimate the event could lead to the planting of up to 1200 trees.

World dignitaries, United Nations officials, environmental experts and high profile media are jetting in for the celebrations. World Environment Day is an initiative of leading unelected world government body, the United Nations Environment Programme. Details about accommodation and buffets can be found at the UNEP website – but only if you have the secret password.

New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark today said the focus of the event will be on forest management as a tool for reducing greenhouse gases. “Since New Zealand’s largest carbon emissions by far come from sheep and cattle, if the international community becomes aware of this and recommends people stop buying our lamb and dairy products, we really are fucked. That’s why we are focusing on forests,” Ms Clark said.

"We have told our international visitors that if they focus on our primary production, we will be focusing on their hotel bills, with particular attention paid to the videos they have watched."