My Blog List

Our mission

Are you that special person who - weary from trudging the endless superhighways - just longs to camp next to a glorious oasis of the mind? Do you desire to explore new frontiers, splash in shared ideas, fill your belly with the refreshing fruits of inspiration, and bask in the gentle rays of fond reflection?

Well, you can fuck right off. This, my friends, is not that place. This place is... The ShadowLands.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

How not to offend Muslims: Your guide

Here is a modest selection of things that have been banned or at least strongly discouraged in western countries, so as not to offend Muslims:

* Wearing bikinis in Helsinki parks

* Applying regular planning rules in Virginia

* Gathering intelligence in mosques

* Maintaining dress rules in Maine prisons

* Not allowing prayer breaks at work in Minnesota

* Sending un-Islamic mail to US defence force personnel

* Having shopping malls without prayer rooms

* Reciting the pledge of allegiance in Oregon

* Keeping the name of your Ukrainian nightclub

* Sitting next to a girl in a Rotterdam theatre

* Wearing shorts at Magic Mountain on Muslim Day

* Being unaware of Islam in Houston

* Criticising terrorists at Lake Superior University, Michigan

* Going to the gym whenever you like in Minneapolis

* Swimming whenever you like in Oregon

* Having Labor Day off in Shelbyville, Tennessee

* Writing or publishing books about Mrs Mo in England

* Holding architecture exhibitions in Brussels

* Using sniffer dogs without booties in the United Kingdom

* Watching Davis Cup tennis in Malmo, Sweden

* Playing Cliff Richard in Basingstoke

* Promoting the Football World Cup

* Obeying hygiene rules in English hospitals

* Saying that you refuse to kneel to Islam

* Serving rum flavoured ice-cream to British prisoners

* Publishing cartoons in Denmark

* Mocking terrorists in South Africa

* Keeping the name of a 300-year-old pub in Birmingham

* Eating in front of Muslims during Ramadan in Scotland

* Commemorating the murder of Israeli athletes during the London Olympics

* Defending Israel's military exploits

* Displaying Israeli flags in Germany

* Eating in a New Zealand cafe if you are Israeli

* Eating or drinking during council meeting during Ramadan at council meetings in East London.

* Talking about "freedom", "religious freedom" or "tolerance" in America

* Keeping dress rules for policewomen in Leicestershire, factory workers in New Brighton, and hairdressers in North London

* Advertising the police phone number in Scotland

* Broadcasting images of muslim women driving in South Africa

* Keeping the name of your cricket team in Middlesex

* Using passport photos with bare shoulders in Sheffield

* Defending Christianity on Glasgow radio

* Advertising Easter plays in Rotherham, England

* Allowing conservatives to speak at the London School of Economics

* Mentioning pigs in Norwegian fairytales

* Allowing politicians who are against Islamic immigration into England

* Using all the lines in a 16th century play in London

* Having baked ham for Christmas in Port Hedland, Western Australia

* Having regular school holidays in Florida

* Wearing St George Cross tie pins in British prisons

* Bathing topless in Australia

* Allowing some bloggers to attend the Democratic Convention
* Telling the story of the "Three Little Pigs" in Britain

* Providing piggy banks in England

* Allowing female police to arrest men in Norway

* Singing the lyrics to Killing an Arab anywhere

* Taking your guide dog with you in Melbourne

* Speaking out about slavery

* Practicing military exercises in Swedish suburbs

* Displaying novelty pig calendars and toys in London

* Playing the Australian national anthem at a Brisbane school

* Criticising Islam at all

Now if you can all remember these few things, I expect we can all get along just fine.

(With acknowledgment to the Amboy Times and Israel military forum for many links. Other examples welcome in comments.)


blogstrop said...

But, apart from those few things, anything goes?

kevin said...

Thanks for the link.

RebeccaH said...

I certainly hope you consulted with Ask The Imam about these.