Everybody knows of the Gore Effect, now recognised as one of the world's most reliable meteorological phenomena. (In fact, if I'm not mistaken, Tim Blair hisself may be responsible for identifying the phenomenon and inventing the phrase.)
But it's widely recognised that Australian mammologist, Professor Tim Flannery has spookily similar powers over nature.
In 2005 he predicted that Sydney dams could be dry within two years. Currently they are a smidge under 60% capacity.
In March 2008, he predicted Adelaide's dams could run dry by the end of the year. Currently they are also tracking under 60% full.
In June, 2008 he predicted Brisbane would need desalinated water in as little as 18 months. Currently their dams are just under 60% capacity.
Not only are Flannery's predictions always wrong, they have an impressive degree of consistency in wrongness. One pronouncement from him just seems to get the gigalitres flowing.
So why doesn't Flannery have an effect named in his honour? The Flannery Effect is just a bit too drab and non-descriptive, I reckon. What we are looking for is a catchy-phrase that will stick in our minds and thus demonstrate to the world that Australia's reverse oracles are up there with the very best.
Any takers?
UPDATE: Some stiff competition in comments at Blair's. I was hoping for one great suggestion, but instead get 5 or 6.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
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18 comments:
flan sham
flin flan man
tinny tim
tales of tinny tim
flan's fumbled futures
flannery's flummox
I too am a mammologist. What? Mammals? Yeah, I suppose mammals are ok ...
OT, but this seems to be the sort of thing that interests you. Was just watching last Tuesday's Foreign Correspondent (April 21) on ABC iView, and was surprised to hear at 26:20 that the ban on media filming returning military coffins "was put in place by President George W. Bush, who was worried such images would further diminish support for his unpopular war in Iraq." IIRC, it was his father who implemented the ban, after media misuse of the images.
What? The ABC got it wrong again and managed to blame GWB? No, I cannot believe this - I mean, these are professionals. They are cool, calculating, objective. They use words accurately. They fact check. They read widely. They don't just keep blaming Bush for everything do they? That would be more like some sort of obsessive propaganda effort. We're talking about the ABC here. C'mon guys.
Flammerbuster.
From "fillibuster".
To talk sh&t for an awfully long time.
The Flannery influx? The Flannery Flood Reflex? This is hard...
I think we can refer to it as 'Flannerain'.
Lutz Jacoby
Scientifically speaking: The Cranius Angular Alopeceia Effect.
AKA Bearded Chrome Dome Headtilt Professor effect.
We should just call him a Flans penis. There is another name for that, but it escapes me now.
Usually linked to rain:
"Flannery Monsoon"
A wind system that influences large climatic regions and reverses direction seasonally.
A wind from the southwest or south (flanno's butt) that brings heavy rainfall to southern Asia in the summer.
The rain that accompanies this wind.
la Flannery or el Flannery effect depending on which side of the pacific the wind bag is blowing on.
His predictions should be known as Stupid Flanders.
The Flanbuster
Dan, you're onto something. P.J. O'Rourke said the French were a reliable "butt end of the moral compass", meaning that whatever way they pointed, go the opposite. Flannery is near enough to a good term in itself for verbally "pulling the wool" over the eyes of the unsuspecting plebes.
An inFlannetry Emergency ...
Flanner's 'Doppeldammer Effect'?
"The Flanbuster"
or to 'Flanbluster', per the Flanblusterer...
n. 'Flantastrophe', adj. 'Flantastic' - an event in which, when Flanners predicts e.g. a drought, your dams are sure to fill ...
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