Doubts expressed

REUTERS: International observers close to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea say they have serious doubts about reports that Kim Jong Il has fallen sick, possibly suffering from a stroke.

A spokesperson, Mr Dermott Hudson of the Korean Friendship Association said that it was always difficult to believe media reports from the imperialistic west.

"I think it is very unwise to indulge in speculations concerning the leader's health. In fact this is being deliberately spread by the imperialist media to distract from the success of the anniversary celebrations."

These sentiments were backed up by Philippines representative of the KFA, Mr James Mangan:

"There is always allegations that countries that dont back up the United States of Fuckmerica always have 'nuclear weapons' or any other assorted nonsense," Mr Mangun said.

"But of course the stupid American public whose idea of education is MTV, guns, killing other people and pop culture will readily accept it being the sheep they already are while sitting on their fat asses doing no work while receiving social welfare paychecks exploited from other nation's wealth...that's the American Dream...do no work, sit on your ass all day, get a juicy social paycheck every week and buy products made by exploited peoples...how pathetic," he concluded.