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Are you that special person who - weary from trudging the endless superhighways - just longs to camp next to a glorious oasis of the mind? Do you desire to explore new frontiers, splash in shared ideas, fill your belly with the refreshing fruits of inspiration, and bask in the gentle rays of fond reflection?

Well, you can fuck right off. This, my friends, is not that place. This place is... The ShadowLands.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

New York transcript: Exclusive!

Kevin Rudd: Well good morning, Chairman.
Ben Bernanke, (US Chairman, Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve): Good morning Mr Rudd, welcome to America.
Kevin Rudd: Well, I am here today, Mr Governor, to help you with the world financial crisis moving forward.
BB: Oh great. I mean, really we welcome any help with this.
Kevin Rudd: Well what I mean to say here is that the world financial crisis really is not acceptable.
BB: What do you…
Kevin: Well I mean, we must say no to the world financial crisis. Bricklayers and celebrities and bankers and real estate agents, taxidermists and broadway dancers – we all say no to the world financial crisis.
BB: So okay, no to the crisis, But what are you planning to do about it?
Kevin: - Well, this is a global world financial crisis, and it is time to say no. At summits. In our parliaments. At our barbecues we all say no. Under no circumstances are world financial crises acceptable. That’s what we say.
BB But really, Mr Rudd, why did you want to see me?
Kevin Rudd: Well, of course, I will be moving forward with action Mr Governor and here is what I am suggesting. Get this -Cate Blanchett and Hugh Jackman have decided…
BB: ...that you want to say no the world financial crisis? Can you stop saying well?
Rudd: Well! Not just say no, but moving forward, to bury some kind of time capsule, to fully encapsulate the extent to which we say no moving forward.
BB: Fuck me dead.
Rudd: Well, just say no. Got to go, I am moving forward to the UN. Tarquin?
BB: Dickhead.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Walking together, the third arm of government rises to the occasion, whirling whirling ever onwards into the future, not the past

Good impression of Krdd, MM, I could just hear him say all that.

kae said...

Almost as good as Joh.

Ruddspeak.

Well said Margo's and Bruce.

Boy on a bike said...

I reckon he'd start proceedings by saying $orry, and then progress from there.

Margo's Maid said...

Dammit - I should have consulted you guys before I transcribed this...